Caterpillar

When your girlfriend is mad at you so she takes all the blankets and systematically wraps herself up like a caterpillar. This, preventing you from having any blankets... so you have have to sleep in the cold.

Man: I can’t come into work today because I got a cold.

Boss: Who’d you get the cold from?

Man: I got CATERPILLAR(ed) by my girl and was freezing all night..sorry boss.

42👍 6👎

Ball pillow

The pillow used to strategically keep a man’s regular-sized to gigantic balls from being squished during PM sleep, nap-time or siestas.

This pillow is typically folded in half and put between the knees in the fetus or “spooning position”.

Boy: Baby, can I use that extra pillow as my BALL PILLOW tonight?

Girl: Nah, you know that pillow is for decoration only and I don’t want you stinking it up with your nasty ball sack.

Boy: Okay, then can I just use your face as my BALL PILLOW?

Girl; Sure.

Ash

Greatest woman to walk the earth with the Most GINORMOUS BOOTY in the Cosmos

I love ASH

71👍 17👎

Oofah-Doofah

The exclamation one makes when overstimulated with joy and happiness.

Often sung in a sing-song voice and accompanied with a shoulder sway.

Can also be used to express exasperation.

Although opposite in meaning this word means both things dependant upon the tone and expression the person is using.

Human: Oofah-Doofah! I am so excited to go on this roadtrip!

GIRL: Oofah Doofah! Doofah da doofah doo.

BOY (thinks to himself): WOW...that girl over there must be in a really good mood!

*****

Human:Oofah-Doofah! I am sooo ready to get home from this loooong roadtrip!

GIRL: Oofah-Doofah...(sigh)

BOY (thinks to himself): WOW. Poor girl over there. She seems so oofah doofah dooo.

9👍 3👎