UCLA

Useless Crap Learned Altogether
A school w/ students who dwell on arbitrary and biased university rankings, repudiate USC students’ higher SAT scores, ride the coattails of their Nobel laureates’ presence, gloat at USC for being in the ghetto (despite their purported white-guilt liberal stance), jealous that USC students drive nicer cars than UCLA students’ parents, and claim that “our undergrad academics are more rigorous than yours, that’s why we go onto grad school.” No, you guys go onto to grad school because your undergrad programs are so impractical that nobody gives a flying fuck that you majored in liberal arts and couldn’t handle pre-med or engineering.
Hey, didn’t UCLA start out as LACC, a community college a few minutes north of our “ghetto?” So you were in the “ghetto” too huh? Oh…you Bruins don’t like bringing up your humble beginnings do you? Hey, UCLA is a heavy feeder school for community college transfers, so it is de facto still a community college, just a slighter more challenging one. UCLA=honors community college, UCLA=magnet community college: which one do you like better, so I know how to address your school? ….Or how about “Westwood Magnet?”

bruin: Damm, I've been out of UCLA for like 7 years and still deliver pizzas in the North University Park area.
Trojan: Sorry to hear man, I had so many offers thrown at me months before graduation.
bruin: Hey, you think USC admission officers wouldn't mind that a pathetic bruin like me applies to grad school?
Trojan: I don't see why not. Once you're in, you can shed the shame of being a bruin. Better yet, you won't have to sit on the losers' side at football games. Join the club pal.
bruin: I guess if you can't beat them, join 'em!

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