Knut

Knut is the name of a man with the physique of a greek god, and a long beatiful ponytail that shines like a brilliant golden star. His skin is the color of blood, a testimate to his everlasting endurance in the face of the dangers of the universe. Knut can attract any organism he wishes with his alluring charisma, and giant testicles that reach to the floor.

He has the ability to make anyone he wants a star, most notably Marcus Kabelo Møll Mosele, or "Kamelen". He spends most of his days passing on his wisdom to students at the "Bergen Cathedral School" in western Norway. He can often be spotted wearing a stylish flannel shirt and socks with sandals.

Student 1: I love Knut! He's our best teacher by far.
Student 2: I know right! Knut is so cool!
Student 3: I am not the biggest fan of Knut.
Rest of the class: <<Hangs him by the neck out the window>>