bella swan

a stupid slut who is way out of her league and doesn't deserve Jacob, even though she breaks his heart. i personally wish Victoria just slaughtered her.

Bella Swan needs to be killed by someone already.

842👍 666👎

volturi

something you threaten people with.

give me back the money you stole or i'll provoke the Volturi and blame YOU.

186👍 65👎

Jacob Black

Jacob Black can kick your grandmother's ass.

the Jacob ship will probably sink, but then we'll turn it into a submarine. long live Jake <333
Edward fan: LIKE OMG! I LOVE EDWARD! HE DAZZLES ME!
Me: Jacob Black could kick that white boy's ass.

931👍 463👎

twilight movie

the murder of the amazing book Twilight.

twilight fan: i'm so pissed. robert pattison? kristen stewart? what the fuck? the twilight movie is gonna suck.
twilight fan 2: i know man. i'm about to kill myself by jumping off a cliff.
twilight fan: lets go irritate the Volturi.
twilight fan 2: lets.

89👍 215👎

twilight haze

the state of mind one falls into after finishing a twilight book. the first twilight book is probably the strongest point of the haze.

long-time twilight fan: hey, is Megan done reading Twilight?
twilight fan 2: yeah! she finished it last night!
long-time twilight fan: oh! good! now we can talk about it with her!
twilight fan 2: not yet, man. shes still in the twilight haze. wait until she gets over the shock.

47👍 17👎

twilight newbie

the most annoying motherfuckers in the world. people who JUST read Twilight a week or so ago and suddenly think they're the hardcorest fans ever.

newbie1: i just read twilight. I CLAIM JACOB BLACK TO BE MY HUSBAND. HES MINE!
longtime fan: actually, he is mine.
newbie1: NO!! i read the book first.
longtime fan: is that why i read Twilight after the first book hit the shelves and have been a huge fan ever since and i even MET stephenie, but you just read it a week ago?
newbie2: OHHMYGOD. i love Edward.
longtime fan: -sigh- twilight newbies should be shot in the face with a bazooka.

88👍 56👎