metrosexual

The most annoying buzzword that I have ever heard. Ever.

A heterosexual male that:

-is ONLY attracted to women
-give great attention to his appearance
-uses plenty of skin/hair care products
-dresses in style and enjoys shopping
-is hip to all things sophisticated
-prefers wine to beer
-is extremely name-brand conscious
-enjoys hosting parties/events
-is a romantic with an appreciation for art

I was born a metro, well over two decades before the term was popularly coined (Mark Simpson, 2002 - thanks a lot asshole). Now I can't even open a magazine without reading about metrosexuals. Growing trend my ass! Only about 10% of those claiming to be metro are truly metro. The remaining 90% are called something else...POSERS. These are the same guys that considered becoming homos when shows like Will & Grace and Queer Eye premiered. Get your own damn identity you fuckers!

When I heard John Kerry and Howard Dean claiming to be a metrosexuals, I knew it was time to change my ways.

The guiding light for all metrosexuals - David Beckham

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road whore

the last girl at the bar you would ever stick your dick in because you know she told you that she doesn't own a car because of a previous DUI, and she had to suck fat dick and gurgle jism just to get a ride to the bar to try to fuck you.

Holy fuck dude. I got an STD from merely looking at that fucking road whore. THAT FUCKING BITCH ROAD WHORE!!!

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