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When you have received so many Blumpkins that you can only orgasm when you smell shit. When people fart you wind up following them around, nose to their ass, and jacking off at the same time. Instead of flushing the toilet after you pinch off a biscuit you leave it there for months, because the more rancid the odor the farther you shoot your load.
Blumpkin Backfire (adj.) "Fuck man I was with this hot slut on a date, and the fat guy next to me farted... next thing I knew I was butt naked jerkin' my turkey and spitting up mayo all over my ho's tank top!"
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A masterful Procedure from professor Blumpkin... on how to actually get the coveted Blumpkin from your ho.
Step 1) Fart a lot in her presence during oral sex and regular fucking. Do this for at least 3 months or until she gets used to the smell of your rancid bowels.
Step 2) Let yourself splatter a little bit when you fart during intercourse... like on her pillow case and shit. This way she'll rub her face and sleep on a small part of your feces each and every night.
Step 3) GO FOR IT! Shit yourself during oral sex and/or while banging the snot out of the bitch. Act completely embarassed when this happens, "I agree that was awful! I never want that to happen again!! Let's take it into the bathroom next time, because obviously you turn me on so much I just have to shit myself silly whenever I cum!"
Step 4) Enjoy your Blumpkin filled life together.
Blumpkin Progressive (n.) "Man that Progressive Blumpkin shit really worked! Man I can't so much as fart without that dirty whore wanting to suck my mule or least bite my nuts... thanks Progressive Blumpkin"
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Progessive Blumpkin - A Procedure on how to actually get a Blumpkin
Step 1) Fart a lot in her presence during oral sex and regular fucking. Do this for at least 3 months or until she gets used to the smell of your rancid bowels.
Step 2) Shit yourself during oral sex and/or while banging the snot out of the bitch. Act completely embarassed when this happens! "I agree that was awful... let's take it into the bathroom next time!"
Step 3) Enjoy your Blumpkin filled future life together.
"Man that Progressive Blumpkin shit really worked! Man I can't so much as fart without that dirty whore wanting to suck my mule or least bite my nuts... thanks Progressive Blumpkin"
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While receiving a Blumpkin if it is going really bad or really good you break the bitches nose, thus giving her a Bloody Blumpkin.
"Ronda was so awesome at giving me a Blumpkin I popped that bitch in the face and gave her a Bloody Blumpkin!"
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