Man-Poo

1. ‘Man-Poo’ is a medical condition affecting the stomach and intestines resulting in abdominal pain and diarrhoea, but strangely, confined only to the male of the population.

2. ‘Man-Poo’ is not just Gastroenteritis (Gastro) more typically seen in the female population. Diarrhoea, abdominal pain and intestinal cramps are so severe the sufferer often describes them as “the end of the world”.

3. With ‘Man-Poo’, normal Diarrhoea takes on the perceived threat level as that of a potential global pandemic.

4. ‘Man-Poo’ is similar to ‘Man-Flu’ in that the male version has an astronomically larger impact on the male than the more common female ‘gastro’ or ‘flu’ respectively.

5. ‘Man-Poo’ is off the Bristol Stool Scale for classifying human faeces (which ranges from Type 1 – ‘severe constipation’ to Type 7 - ‘Liquid Consistency’). Man-Poo needs to be rated as Type 1000 – ‘Explosive Spray Paint’.

Female: “Who destroyed the toilet last night? Have you got ‘Gastro’?”

Male: “It was me! And no, I don’t have ‘gastro’ I have ‘Man-Poo’. I cannot cope with this. I feel so crap, oh the cramps and pain! You could not possibly know what pain I am going through.”

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