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Random
The smell of your underwear and/or bedsheets the morning after lots of sex.
I can still smell our fuckiness on these sheets even though I've washed them twice!
14👍 7👎
Saturday - just a better way to say it/txt it! Usually used when describing Saturday night. Makes Saturday night sound even more exciting.
OMG I cant bloody wait until Satdee night - its gonna get messy!
11👍 2👎
Like tampons but made for men when they are "men"struating. They place them up their arse for about 3 weeks out of 4. Makes them feel more confident and can get on with tasks such as roller blading, wind surfing and the like. Manpons do not stop men from being grumpy though.
Girl: "FFS, are you STILL on your period, you are soooo grumpy"
Boy: Yeah, so what??
Girl: I'd better go and get you some Manpons then. You can then go roller blading for a bit and cheer the fuck up"
28👍 75👎
When a guy you have been bumping uglies with, on and off for a few months, gives you the cold shoulder, not returning texts, gets a proper "girlfriend" and generally acts like a douchebag. You move on, months go by, but as soon as other guys start sniffing around, douchebag gets back in touch - having some kind of dixth sense - like his tallywhacker knows when there is competition......
Girl 1: "FFS, I just gotta txt from douchebag - I aint from him in months. Typical, as soon as there are other guys on the scene, he wants to tap this ass again......"
Girl 2: "What ya gonna do?"
Girl 1: "Dunno, its like he's got a dixth sense or somat"
*texts douchebag anyway*
3👍 2👎
When something or someone is so awful, they need 2 words to describe them. Manky and Minging.....
Did you see the state of her?
Yeah, she was properly minking...
22👍 6👎
When ringing a large corporate company or the tax office, you go through all the menu's "press 2 if you have lost the will to live" malarkey and then get put on hold for so long, you end up in a trance, listening to either the hold music or 30 second beeps so when, finally, some muppet does answer your call, you forgot what you rang about.....
.........after 37 minutes of being on hold and being put into a hold trance "Hello, you're speaking to Malcolm, how can I help?" "errrrrm, errrmmmm, sorry I will have to ring back, I've forgot what I wanted to say".......*hangs up*
5👍 1👎