Canadian Air-Conditioning

Driving with one arm hanging out of your car window, cos your chiller broke.

Guy1: "Why's your right arm brown?"
Guy2: "We lost the air-conditioner in Dave's Pinto, so he drove us from Dallas to Houston in mid-summer with only Canadian air-conditioning and frequent beer stops to keep us frosty. It was hell."

477👍 295👎

KIMP Factor

KIMP = "Kittens I'd Murder for a Pizza"

When traveling overseas for a long time, you finally get to a point when you have had enough foreign food and actually, biologically, NEED a pizza. How many kittens would you murder for one? That's the KIMP factor.

By the time you reach a KIMP factor of 10: it's time to come home.

I spent three weeks in Shanghai, and after only 4 days was up to a KIMP factor of 5. The rest of the time was NOT good.

87👍 26👎

Utica

Like being dead, but without the fun.

"I died and went to Utica."

"Utica failed in its bid to be twinned with Pluto"

341👍 124👎

Woman-Hole

The ladies' equivalent of a man-cave. For some reason, this phrase is not used by women at all.

Wife of Des: "I've finally got my special room sorted out"

Des: "Great. So I've got my man-cave and you're got your woman-hole."

Wife of Des: Silence: stares at Des

Des: "What??!!"

37👍 48👎

In-law in-law

Your spouse's brother's/sister's spouse. Basically someone who will never be related to your kids, so you don't have to give a shit about. The feeling is mutual.

Your Wife: "My brother Todd's wife is such a cow!"

You: "Who gives a rat's? She's my in-law in-law."

86👍 39👎

Frinky

Descriptive of a somewhat scary chick, similar to the one who does the Progressive commercials. Kind-of cute; kind-of nuts; kind-of hot; kind-of totally mental. Probably goes like a train, but one that will run you over.

Derivation obscure - possibly a concatenation of "Frightening" and "Kinky"(?)

Guy 1:"Would you do that chick from the Progressive commercial?"

Guy2: "Mmmmm. Possibly. She's kinda frinky, though..."

218👍 111👎

Hearing Aid

Derogatory term for a Bluetooth earpiece worn by anyone over 40 years old in the sad belief that it makes them look cool. Seen from the opposite side, it makes them look like an old person suffering from semile dementia and talking to themselves.

Middle-aged woman apparently talking to herself in park.
Guy: "What's up with grandma over there?"
Girl: "She's on her hearing aid again to her daughter."

198👍 35👎