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To masturbate while driving an automobile. Sometimes you just have to get rid of a rager that just won't go away and you know you will not have the opportunity to do so at the destination location, so you just fire one away on the turn pike.
Tyrant: I hate working this late shifts. It's hard to stay awake on the ride home and I am too tired to bone my gf when I get home.
Big Easy: Dude, you should automobate man. Fire your load on the ride home. Nothing keeps you awake like jackin' the ole pecker doing 85 next to a tractor trailer at midnight.
When you have so much cum, that you could put out a 13 story apartment complex if it were burning to the ground in a fiery ablaze with one single cum shot.
T-mad: dude I havenât jacked off in like 4 days.
Big Cheesey: holy fuck dude. I canât go more than 9 hours or I have to fuck my pillows or something.
T-mad: yea man my balls are gigantic rn. I feel like I could use my Cock for a Fire Sextingsquisher if need be.
Big Cheesey: Thereâs an industrial building in flames on broad rn. Go be a hero.
The act of shooting a fresh load of sperm onto a piping hot piece of shit that you currently have resting in a skillet on your stovetop. You then patiently scrape the penal cheese out of your foreskin (known as smegma) on top of the cum log and bake on medium for approximately 12 minutes or until the jizz turns a dark yellow. Set aside to cool down, this is obviously not for consumption, that would be disgusting. You then take the room temp smeg foo young and blend it into a fine liquid. Proceed to pour that liquid into a funnel that you have placed into your penis hole and enjoy!
Mike 1: Yo man, do you want to get Chinese food later? Im thinking some egg foo young?
Mike 2: That shit is gross. How about we get some smeg foo young instead and feed our boners?
While having sexual intercourse with a female in the missionary position, finish inside her. Once you finish, proceed to urinate while you stick your finger down your throat and make yourself vomit as well. Make sure the vomit lands in the goal, "vagina" so that you score the hat trick.
Friend 1: Last night was the tits! I boned a chick and came inside her!
Friend 2: That's it?
Friend 1: What do you mean that's it?
Friend 2: I brought some bitch back from the bar and gave her and scored the Scandinavian Hat Trick bro!
The act of hanging your penis over someone's shoulder as you are ejaculating, simulating a puking parrot. It is also very beneficial to dress the penis up and mutter, "Polly want a cracker?"
Man: I nutted in my girlfriends mouth last night!
Friend: Cool. I pulled out and gave her a puking parrot last night.
The process of when the semen from a freshly ejaculated penis never actually separates itself from the semen in the urethra, leaving the portion of semen that escaped dangling loosely in space and unable to be claimed as a "cum-shot." This is common with men who are dealing with dehydration or the common cold.
Man: Dude the weirdest thing happened to me last night.
Friend: Go on...
Man: I was drilling this chick and pulled out to spray her in the eyeball and my load never left my dick!
Friend: Ahhhh the ole Colorado Cliffhanger!
After receiving a blumpkin, in one lightning fast motion, hop up and shove the persons head into the shit filled toilet resembling a game of apple bobbing.
Dude: My chick gave me a blumpkin last night.
Friend: Did you also jam her face into your shit and make her go crapple bobbing?