Too Far June

“Too Far June” is a very useful phrase, which can be used in a variety of ways.

Whether it be a sexual act or an argument/discussion which has exceeded your limits.

“Mum can I have the car this weekend and your credit card?”
“Car, yes. Credit card no - Too far June”

“Do you fancy a threesome this weekend - with my mum or dad?”
“Get lost creep! Too far June”

Here are perfect examples of when “Too Far June” was a necessary way of leaving situations which surpassed your boundaries ... or perhaps not for the perverts out there.

Pigeon Style

It is a sex position.

It includes the thrusting of a phallus into a hole. With flapping of arms like bird wings and head bobbing like a bird pecking.

“Do you fancy playing with Kevin the Pigeon tonight?” My husband asked. “The lubricant is ready.”

Pigeon style was investigated by:
Dr Phalange-a-phalles an Ancient Greek scientist who created an occupation from observing pigeon’s shag.

A strong relationship was noticed between One Direction members Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles and a pigeon called Kevin.

Social Turd

A Social Turd is a term which can be used for two main reasons:

1) To describe something most unpleasant and obscene upon the eye in society. A someone or something which has figuratively taken a large stinking crap on a community.

2) The very opposite of a Social Butterfly, now this particular variety of humanity, differs from your mundane Wallflower - it is someone who is mute for a large amount of time until the occasion arises and they vocalise unpleasant comments in a situation, thus, dropping a log in a public place.

Use your imagination for the following:
1) I take a stroll through a public place and I see a newly ‘in love’ couple - chewing each other’s faces off.

This is a Social Turd because the young nor the elderly or any age between need to see two faces combining like something from Alien. Also, there is no need to remind the sad members of your community of their singleness!

2) “We need a Social Turd ‘scoop up’ !” exclaimed the snobbish, job’s worth from the local neighbourhood watch, with a fake accent.

3) A group of teen females strut down the school corridor on none school uniform day: their attire is cheap Primark leggings and a cropped toothpaste stained hoodie. These young women who are our future, sport not Camel Toes but entire Camel Hooves! A true Social Turd.