Rusty Newspaper

The "Rusty Newspaper" is an act used to describe the actions of a man when he wipes his ass with the front page of the London Times then proceeds to fax the page to his wife when she arrives at work.

Husband- "Did you recieve the paper via fax at work this morning honey?"
Wife- "I did, it seems you've delievered me a "Rusty Newspaper". What for?"
Husband- "You burnt the coffee again this morning you F**king C**t, thats what you get."
Wife- "I hope you at least cleaned the shit off the fax machine".

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Mitt muffler

A mitt muffler is another term for a tampon or maxi pad. The primary use of a mitt muffler is to dampen the sound of a vaginal queef (fart). Some women also like to use mitt mufflers to help obsorb bloody fluid's that tend to leak from the vaginal area once a month for upto 7 days depending on how much of a filthy snap the old gals got on her.

"Eh chief, I hear your old lady is rockin the old "Mitt muffler" this week. No offense to you or your family but how do you put your dick in that old axe wound on a regular basic chiefy? "

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