Obes

A supernatural spectacle of nature that has transcended the known physical and mental limits of humans. Truly awe-inspiring. Not to be confused with a unicorn or chupacabra. Can and will drink fast, slow, in large quantities, in small quantities, forwards, backwards, upside down, downside up, right, left, diagonally, in the past, in the future, and in another dimension. The sky is the limit. A true badass, a remarkable individual, and a phenomenon of nature.

“I saw an Obes today.”
“Then your eyes have been blessed.”

5👍 3👎

UFC 246

When you’re in bed and you ejaculate in 40 seconds or less

Guy: I’m finished
Girl: What? You just pulled a UFC 246 on me!

13👍 3👎

Sanderson

A man who was a comedian in his past life and was born with a congenital disorder where he has not only an extra funny bone but also an extra humerus. Unpredictable. At any given moment his comedy will strike without warning and you will find yourself laughing but don’t know why. He invented the words “random” and “extravagant” and is currently working to start a new cult known as Sandersonism. Sandersonism is all about finding snakes in the grass and calling them out for their devilish deeds.

Dude, why do I have butterflies in my stomach suddenly?
It’s because you just saw a Sanderson! His presence alone makes your palms sweaty, knees weak and arms heavy! You should feel honored.