sea police

Law enforcement officers patrolling and protecting coastlines and waterways, and eliminating skullduggery on the high seas

Fuck me, that leathery topless old sea hag is putting me off my cocktail, better phone the sea police

Rico Suave

A dapper young chap of humble village origins with a penchant for witty repartee, entertaining those around him with the poetry of his youth. Admired by men, adored by women, a champion of the down trodden like fleas, the Puerto Rican kid, he is a raconteur of the highest ilk, with a simmering undercurrent of menace and intrigue

Lock up your daughters, Rico suave just entered the abode

Mortgage eyes

A person of ill repute known for their sticky fingered thievery identifiable by their eyes being unable to both look at the same thing at the same time. Like mortgages, ones fixed, ones variable.

Mortgage eyes Deano stole that old ladies purse, when I questioned him about it he couldn’t look me in the eye

doing the greyhound

The act of dropping your jeans and undercrackers in a public place such as a pub, then scuttling about the floor sniffing random strangers crotches

“Nice one boys, boycies doing the greyhound!”

Spaghetti legs

A term descriptive of elder statesmen at a soirée when, after a few libations, feel compelled to gravitate towards the dance floor, whereby their ambition outstrips there ability in an attempt to “get down”, resulting in a sight resembling strings of freshly boiled spaghetti dangling out the bottom of a colander in rather sporadic fashion

Check out aunt Mable, few sherries and she’s got a dose of the old spaghetti legs