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This is one of the most mispronounced words in the English Language. It should rhyme with "coffin". It isn't "off-ten".
Person A: How off-ten do you read?
Person B: Apparently you read too much, since it is "often", not "off-ten"!
Person B: (writes "listen" on a piece of paper) How to you pronounce this word?
A: Listen. it has a silent T.
B: Then why do you pronounce it in "often"?
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A mythical being taught to young children as a fact. In American culture, Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter bunny are the three primary Santoids. The Stork is a more minor one used to explain where babies come from.
People typically learn the truth, sometimes even from their parents, by 12. They learn that their parents placed the gifts under the tree, took the tooth and replaced it with money, hid eggs at 3 AM, and one night they got together and...you know.
The name comes from "Santa" plus "-oid", meaning "Santa-like."
Some say that Santoids are used to allow children to think critically and question everything.
Others say they are used as secular substitutes for Jesus, or as a way of commercializing Christmas/Easter. In the case of the stork, it is to protect their fragile developing psyches.
"Sinterklass is a Santoid that Scandinavians teach their children. It is just like Santa, except it isn't."
"In the minds of atheists, God is just a Santoid some people never grow out of."
"Monsters under the bed. The Scary Santoid. By three, you go through nights of no sleep, but by 6, you realize it is just a coat."
This is a term used for the schizophrenic state of being excessively goofy and excessively serious, the ability to switch between the two, and being nowhere in between. This is generally encountered in high school band, choir, and other such musical groups. On their free time, they may act like stupid 5-year-olds. Some may even laugh at everything, every atom moved, every word spoken, even if to others it is dumb.
But when around adults, and in concerts, they become boring. In fact, very boring. They are obsessed with rules and such, and obey them like robots. They respect everyone, no matter how weird they are. And after the show, they switch back.
Goorious people are made fun of because they are goorious.
The chorus consisted of two groups: one made up of nerds obsessed with theory, and the other of goorious oddballs who would be bullied if they werent in the group.
There are three types:
The choir geek: They are very interested in music. They may have good voices, but their primary talent is actually enjoying sight-reading. They have a passion. They enjoy it above everything else. They may major later on.
The ch. nerd: The sole purpose of his membership is that he can't fit in with anyone else. He acts like a little kid, may run around in practice, and make stupid jokes that a non-ch. kid would have bullied him for.
The plain ch. kid: Doesn't want to be too involved (see example for more info.)
Do not confuse thechoir geek with the nerd.
Typical choir geek joke: A: what is the name of that funeral song? B: what? A: This one (hums tune) B: That's an aria. how can an aria be a funeral song?
Choir nerd jokes, on the other hand, are usually in some way related to excrement, if not, are just plain stupid.
The first two types both use choir as an outlet, as a social group, that all your friends are a part of. However, the plain ch. kid is smart, in that he realizes that choir is a CLASS. He takes it because it is the most interesting Elective (not group), but is either in sports, or simply thinks that the others are too weird, which they are.
Choir kid
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Short form of Allison, Alexandra, Alice, Alicia, Aleah, Almira, or any other girl's name that starts with AL.
Allie is usually very shy, but fun to be around once you get to know her. She loves to give you hugs. She can be hard on herself, though she is very beautiful on the inside as well as on the outside. She is usually creative, whether it's art or music.
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A unit of measurement named after Justin Bieber. Similar to how we measure temperature in degrees, or brightness in lumens, we measure song quality in Biebs. A song with more biebs tends to be rejected by the human body.
100 Biebs is equal to Justin Bieber's "Baby", and 0 biebs is equal to your average Beatle's song. Of course, there are negative Biebs (for good bands), and the scale goes past 100 for songs worse than Baby.
When the average person hears a song with more than 10 Biebs, the Bieb receptor begins to reject it. A song with more than 100 Biebs (like Nickelback) will completely overwhelm the Bieb receptor.
Teenage girls and Canadians like their music with many biebs because their Bieb receptors haven't developed yet.
The mating calls of penguins are at 10000000 Biebs.
That new band has -320 Biebs! Someone should get them signed, and not some One Direction garbage! My Bieb receptors hurt!
Bieb receptors, believe it or not, are also functional in deaf people! They are a separate part of the body from your ears. We (who can hear) just link them with the sound of music. Play a JB song around a deaf person and he/she will feel pain and not know what caused it.
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A person who eats meat but not fish. The opposite of a pescatarian.
Carnitarian myths:
Myth: You will mess up your brain without fish!
Truth: There are plenty of non-fish sources of Omega 3. Some would argue that flaxseed oil is worse since it is not DHA, but our bodies can convert non-DHA omegas to DHA. Flax also has the added benefit of being mercury free.
Myth: Countries that eat fish are smarter!
Truth: Lets look at the statistics. USA is about 30th place worldwide for math, and Germany is twelfth. (Source: Business Insider) Yet Germany has a LOWER per-capita fish consumption. (Source: UN)
Myth: But you haven't tried THIS fish!
Truth: If I hit my hand on a glass wall, and then hit my hand on a concrete wall, would I have to hit my hand on a stone wall to see whether I like it or hate it?
Myth: Fish is lean protein, with no cholesterol!
Truth: Fish has cholesterol. If you want some lean protein, try some beans.
People have such double standards. They have no problem with vegetarianism or gluten-free diets, yet they make fun of people who don't eat fish. One is "an alternative diet", while the other is "immature picky eating" in the minds of fish eaters.
Many Americans are carnitarians.
Carnitarian: Fish doesn't deserve to be called protein. It is practically a veggie. It smells worse going in than it does coming out.
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