FUPS

Fat, Ugly, Poor and Stupid. An acronym for the guy at the bar that you turn down, even on an off night.

Ingrid: I think that guy likes you. He's been giving you the eyes all night.

Elsa: Eww. He's totally FUPS. I'd rather go home alone and organize my sock drawer.

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relationship revision

When one partner of a past relationship adds more to the significance of the connection than was actually there.

George, seeing Jenna 10 years after high school, succumbs to relationship revision, embarrassing both himself and his erstwhile crush.

George: Wow! Its great to see you again, Jenna! I've thought about you alot over the years....how we really had something going back in high school.

Jenna (quizzical): We went to high school together??

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Flannel

Soft, touchable, irresistible manliness woven into a fabric.

Matt tried to explain to his 7th grade class what flannel was, but quickly realized that it is simply something one must experience for themselves.

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frost butt

The painful exposure to cold wintertime air of skin that should really be bundled under several layers of clothing.

guy 1: (shivering) "There was this huge long line for the bathroom, so I went out back to take a leak. Now I've got a serious case of frost butt."

guy 2: "Dude....TMI...seriously."

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orgasmorphatism

The condition wherein one imagines someone's orgasm face during the course of a completely unrelated and innocent conversation.

Sarah was chatting with her elderly neighbor about dog grooming when her orgasmorphatism kicked in, causing her to lose her train of thought. She quickly excused herself and ran inside, shaking her head to rid herself of the picture.

John was trying to focus on the nurse's instructions for wound care, but his orgasmorphatism was making it difficult to concentrate on her words.

Time Lord Technology

Anything that seems to be bigger on the inside. Ref: The Doctor's TARDIS, which, while from the outside looks to be a simple phone box, actually is a time-and-space-traveling ship which includes but is not limited to a control room, a wardrobe room and a swimming pool.

Guy, watching incredulously as a Girl rummages in purse, digging out a wallet, a book, two tubes of lipstick, several hair accessories and a phone: "All that stuff fit in your tiny pocketbook?"

Girl: "Yeah. Time Lord Technology"

Guy: "Oh right...bigger on the inside"

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silent sex

what married people do when they're too cheap to get a second hotel room, and have to have sex with two sleeping 7 year olds in the next bed. Usually accompanied by silent shushing faces, muffled giggles and careful movements so as not to make the bed creak. Culminates in silent grimaces during climax.

Stan and Diane got a great hotel in Maui for their 10th anniversary, but ending up having to have silent sex, since it was too pricey to get a second room for the twins

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