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plainville

Also known as "Genericville, CT," Plainville is a small town in central Connecticut. It is home to exactly one of every known chain restaurant, dozens of neighborhoods consisting of near-identical middle class homes in varying colors, and the Plainville Blue Devils football team, which wins exactly one game per year. The town also has an annual Balloon Festival, where residents of Plainville and neighboring towns flock to the Generic Park and do absolutely nothing. Important events in Plainvillian history include the (fictional) syphilis epidemic of '05 and both the opening and closing of a K-Mart store. Notable residents include that really old substitute teacher and the guy who invented Sobe. Local police are known for stopping drivers who go through yellow lights. Local teens are known for setting homeless people on fire and eating at Dairy Queen five nights a week.

- Where are you from?
- Plainville.
- Where?
- PLAINVILLE.
- Where?
- Plai - oh, it's near New Britain/Farmington/Bristol/Southington.
- Oh yeah, I drove through there once. You guys have a Dairy Queen, right?

by Victoria Dahling March 25, 2006

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