badger god

The one true lord of all existence.
His story is that follows. There was once a badger who was roaming around Iceland. (As everyone knows Iceland is the home of all badgers.) This badger was walking around doing things when a beam of light shot down from the heavens and granted this badger inhuman powers capable of creating world peace, stopping climate change and curing all diseases. But, he was a badger so none of this happened.

One day when the badger was in the sky doing badger things, he felt lonely. Then he declared: "I will father a son of a human woman, because I am bored." He then proceeded to subdue the most beautiful woman in Iceland with His manly good looks and because he was a badger. (Insert dirty fanfiction about sonic.) The woman then gave birth to the most beautiful badger in the world. Badger Jesus (That was the son of the Badger Gods name.) then declared: "The bridge that was once magnificent between humans and badgers has been burned. Let me be that bridge for the good of humanity." and when he spoke his word instantly became true and transformed in to a bridge full of organs and tissue. "The bridge is good." Said God Badger.

And that is the meaning of life.

Person A- Do you know about Badger God?

Person B- Yeah, he's pretty damn sexy.

Person A- ...

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