Masturvation

The act of pleasuring oneself on an empty stomach

I’m out of food until pay day, so I’m practicing masturvation to take my mind off of it.

Sad Hey

The one word text used to begin a non-specific conversation with a recent romantic interest.

I feel bad for her because we hadn't talked in two weeks and then she randomly texted me a "Sad Hey" out of the blue last night.