boulder archwelder

After the girl has fallen asleep, the male ejaculates on her eyelids and allows the ejaculate to dry and harden on her eyelids, making it impossible to open her eyes. The stupid bitch.

I gave Natalie a Boulder Archwelder last night, and took off like a rocket from that skank's pad.

11👍 6👎

Long Island Shoehorn

When a man is about to cum, he pulls out and ejaculates into the heel of a particularly tight pair of dress shoes in order to ease the passage of his foot into said shoes.

I never thought I'd fit into my size 9's for the wedding until a Long Island Shoehorn provided the lube to fulfill this impossible dream.

5👍 8👎

big dick dynamo

A man with a big penis who also knows how to use it.

She said: "I heard he got it like that?!"
Girlfriend said: "Yup! Straight big dick dynamo."
She's like: I gots to get me a bdd already

2👍 3👎