Celebate

Celebrating a holiday by masturbating.

Christy: How are you spending your birthday tonight?
Reid: I’m going to stay home and celebate.

gosper

Verb. To gosper is to appoint a family member to a position ahead of a properly chosen candidate.

"Did you get that job, mate?" "Nah, I was gospered at the last minute."
See Olympic 2000 torch relay start in Greece.