Cheddar cheeser

An rhyming alternative to "geezer", sometimes shortened to "cheeser" or "cheese".

"Look at that cheddar cheeser over there, three pints of John Smiths in and he hasn't spilt a drop on his Daily Express"

Inuit kiss

Wiping your ass with a wet wipe which has been cooled in the freezer.
Especially pleasant after large and/or spicy shits.

“Barry grab me those wet wipes from the freezer, I’m about to give birth to that Vindaloo from last night and will need an Inuit kiss to cool off my ringpiece”