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exercising forbearance and restraint in the performance of masturbatory acts; going to great lengths of time without playing with oneself.
Coined on a classic Seinfeld episode.
He refrained from snapping his carrot for 3 months until the little blonde walked by him, nipples erect and ass crack hangin' out of her daisy dukes.
When his mother cleaned his room and opened his closet, she discovered an 'Inflatable Suzie Blow Up Doll.' Upon being questioned, he fessed up and admitted that this was his paracoita.
the application of an exorbitant quantity of cologne to one's body, thus making one smell like a French harlot. The implication being that when one has taken the cap off of a cologne bottle, he must have stubbed his toe, thus causing him to spill a shit load of it on his body as if he took a bath in the stuff.
Did you smell Jake this morning? The sumbitch must have "stubbed his toe."
having big titties; also can be used within the context of "breast implants."
My girlfriend was so flat, that her breasts look like two fried eggs on a wall. Shortly after her breast augmentation, she transformed into a hypermammiferous harlot!
to gulp a beverage down enthusiastically, heartily, and quickly.
After work, I xertzed about 9 cobble-lobbers at the libation emporium.
-a racially offensive term for a black person (from Italian melanzana, which is an eggplant.)NOTE: there are hundreds of phonetic spellings out there; however, this is the ONLY correct Italian spelling of this word.
He was accused of being a racist when he called the black man a mulignan at the bus stop.
to be suffering from the Aztec Two Step;
afflicted with the "Green Apple Splatters," to have the 'shits,' or diarrhea.
I had to cancel my big date with Mary Jane Rottencrotch, due to the fact that I had been lasking all day. It was so bad, that it seemed like my ass was pissing through the eye of a needle.