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RACISTS BEWARE: Goodbye Uncle Tom is a 1971 shockumentary film made by Gualtiero Jacopetti and Franco Prosperi in which they pretend to go back in time and "document" American slavery in the 19th century. It's been called the most vile film ever made. It includes rapes, castrations, young black girls dancing in the nude for possible male buyers.
It's nasty as shit, hard to sit through without vomiting, and yet, the most accurate depiction of slavery yet. Everything re-enacted in the movie is based on something that actually happened in history. Go check it out. It'll put you on your ass.
"I just watched Goodbye Uncle Tom. I need to go rinse my mouth out."
"All you racist dickwads should be forced to watch Goodbye Uncle Tom. It'll make you shut the fuck up."
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The Old-Fashoined Country Breakfast is a southern tradition: an alcoholic drink consisting of orange juice and whiskey. If you're a seven year-old looking to be inebriated by mid-day, Sunny D is a good substitute as well. Although for centuries it was just called "Uncle Jasper's off-limits O.J.", it was officially re-named Old-Fashioned Country Breakfast by the drink's main consumers, Nashville rockers The Daily Howl.
"Man, this Old-Fashioned Country Breakfast got me drunk as shit! I think I'mma take a nap before lunch!"
"You wanna go to Cracker Barrel and get an old-fashioned country breakfast?"
"No thanks, I got plenty in this here glass!"
A "Howlin' Wolf", also known as a "Chester Arthur Burnett" (1910 - 1976), was a blues musician who stood like Goliath and squealed like a banshee. One critic described his voice as "the sound of God trying to pass a kidney stone while running over elephants with a bulldozer". George Lucas has often calimed that the character of Darth Vader was created to be a less badass version of Howlin' Wolf. Mr. Wolf paved the way for many of the big, sweaty, black men in the business today. That said, you owe him big, Biggie.
That guy is almost as badass as Howlin' Wolf.
Last night my woman and I made sweet love to the eargasmic sounds of Howlin' Wolf.
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