Bumping hideouses

Similar to "bumping uglies", the act of sexual intercourse between two offensively unattractive people.

-Did you see her go upstairs with that fatass?
-Yeah, they're probably bumping hideouses.

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beating the slab

male masturbation i.e. jacking off. The slab is the phallic device.

-Why is Eugene locked in his room?
-He's probably beating the slab.