mycrofting

When a particularly sexually-adventurous chap takes a rusty vice-clamp and secures it rigidly at opposing points of his anus, and proceeds to twist clockwise until the pain is too much to bear and a black hole forms, sucking everything within a 100 mile radius into his super-tight rectum. This will generally produce an especially violent supernova within this man's colon, most likely affecting the next few day's bowel movements.

Craven Morehead: *weeps openly* I was so sad about my girlfriend breaking up with me that I went mycrofting all night long. My anoos is soooooo sore. I'm afraid to go to the doctor because the vice is still stuck on my asshole.

Jack Mayhoff: Were you feeling really lonely or something?

Ken Yah Swalo: (entering) No, I forced him to do it. I thought it would help him get over his girlfriend. (pause)... It didn't work.

13👍 3👎