Simon Birch

1. A movie that midgets often masturbate to.

2. (verb) "to birch", The act of standing on one's knees to perform a reach-around while pretending to be a crippled midget.

Example:

Bro 1: "My knees hurt."

Bro 2: "Why bro?"

Bro 1: "Because I simon birched your mom last night!"

Bro 2: "Whoa, proper Van Dammage dude."

Bro 3: "My knees hurt too."