Oreo Cheese

The centre layer of an Oreo Cookie left several years past it's sell by date. Depending on where stored you can end up with it smelling a bit like cheese.

"I just moved in and found some really old Oreos on top of the fridge, they stank of Oreo Cheese though!"

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Gun Shy

Millitary slang for someone scared of confronting the enemy. Like saying coward, only it's not irrational to be scared of red hot tumbling bullets that hit you before you even see the muzzle flash.

"Christ's sake Sarge, don't team me up with Billy, he's Gun Shy! Last time we saw an Iraqi he wet himself, and it was only a woman putting out her washing!"

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Brain Clog

When someone asks you a simple question and for no reason at all you have to replay the question in your head, think about it for a second and then come up with the answer.

This can occur when you are either immersed in something else, or just so bored that your brain has decided to take a nap.

Often affects people on medication, alcohol or illegal drugs, but can happen to anyone.

"Dude, was it you that left the gerbil in the fridge?"

"Wha' . . . Ger'um'ah, yeah."

"What the hell have you been smoking? He's shaking like a head-knocker."

"Um . . . your stash. Sorry man got a little Brain Clog today."

Never Confused

Usually meaning you are not confused about your sexuality, can be used as the ending to a sentence that you just realised made you sound a little homosexual.

From the Pub Landlord played by Al Murray in Time Gentlemen Please

"I was just curious, y'know, as to the mechanics of the whole business. What do they get up to? I was never confused!"

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Standing on Plastic

When a gang boss wants you dead he may send someone to bring you to his office. The floor will have a plastic sheet over it so that when he shoots you and your body slumps to the floor, no one has to go through the trouble of removing the blood from the floor.

Standing on Plastic has evolved into a general term for someone powerful wanting you dead.

"Oh man, Chavez went crazy when I told him on the phone that I screwed up the vault job! He invited me to his office, I reckon I'm standing on plastic!"

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Time Gentlemen Please

A phrase called out at closing time in a pub. A bell usually rings ten or fifteen minutes before to alert people that the bar is closing so that they can order more drinks. Then at closing the bell rings again and the bar person can say "Time gentlemen please!"

Also a TV show aired on Sky One starring Al Murray as the sad landlord of a london pub next to a chemical plant.

"Right that's it, time gentlemen please! Come on, drink up!"

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Genetic Engineering

Often misunderstood as a bad thing because of bad coverage in the press, it is in fact very useful. To engineer something you need to map an organism's DNA and then discover which genes have which effect. Then map another organism's DNA and implant those genes where you want the desired effect. It can be performed while a creature or plant is in it's embrionic stage, if done after there would be far too many DNA strands to alter. It could be used to create plants that would grow all year round in any county such as deserts without rain or even in antarctica and if there is water there, thoretically Mars.

"Genetic Engineering is a bad thing. I don't know what I'm talking about. I am an idiot."
Prince Charles.

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