Vampire Wanding

The act of freezing a mould of period blood into a phallic shape to then use as a dildo.

Oh Rachel my dear you do seem to have a particularly heavy flow this month. We should try that vampire wanding I keep hearing about! I’ll get the lollipop sticks.

Blustery Bean Bag

The art of farting directly and purposefully onto your partner’s balls during sex.

Rachel my darling, as it’s our anniversary I think I deserve a blustery bean bag this evening.

The Judas Ejaculate

The act of purposely cumming in your partner’s mouth despite them asking for a warning. Bonus points for shouting Jesus Christ at the moment of climax

I asked the prick to let me know he was about to finish, but he just nutted without warning and whilst blaspheming. It’s the Judas ejaculate. There won’t be a second date.