Nurse Helga Bumgames

A mythical 6 foot blonde nurse who works in Stockholm General Hospital, Sweden. Or just a ho in a nurse's costume in Kings Cross, London.

Whatever the condition her male patients might have, Nurse Helga Bumgames would administer a lingering and pleasurable anal probe for a modest fee.

Her popularity is the stuff of legend.

Swede 1: "Jah, though I had broken all my legsh and armsh, my shtay in veh hoshpital was great."
Swede 2: "I she you had the honour of being attended by Nurse Helga Bumgames."
Swede 1: "Jah!"

9👍 10👎

AS/400

A kick-ass mid-range computer invented by IBM. Long family tree going back to System/3 (and probably before). Updated through the years at hardware and software levels and today forms a very fine platform on which to build quality enterprise systems. Oh yeah, and don't forget RPG (Report Program Generator) one of the dogs of the programming language world that seems to follow AS/400 round.

IBM have now started calling them iSeries eServers or some old bollocks like that. Whatever. To droves of ageing programmers (who still think the RPG Debugging Template, flowchart stencils, Dire Straits, Jethro Tull, real ale, war gaming and cricket) are all 'cool', they represent a rock to cling to.

"I love AS/400's - they're the best goddam box to poke around in - even beats the milf's I pick up at bars after a long day spec'ing RPG programs." Hiram J. Corksacker III, Software Engineer, Portland, OR.

18👍 8👎

mush bucket

Yet another name for a vagina. This one is a big capacity one with plenty of sloppy juice swimming round it. NEVER let a chick with one of these wonders ride your face.

Dude 1: "Why so sad, Dawg?"
Dude 2: "That chick I met last night - got her home and she had one huge, wet mush bucket up that skirt! I nearly drowned."

9👍 22👎

Sticky vid

A porno video. The truest stcky vid will be in VHS format, be a copy of a copy of a copy of the original and have wow and flutter like you wouldn't believe.

I got dumped again over the weekend. Had to spend Saturday night in with a pack of beers, a microwave meal and wank myself through a sticky vid.

fat handed

An adjective that describes being caught in the act of porking out on forbidden food. Like flies swarm to shit, so fat fucks swarm to fridges at night.

"I put a ham in the fridge and caught that chunk ass Janelle fat handed at 3am eating it."

6👍 3👎

You sir

Two words placed before a gross insult. Implies politeness but then delivers a brutal slam dunk to the recipient. Very British.

Dude 1: "You worthless motherfuckin' dawg!"
Dude 2: "You sir, are a cunt."

Liverpool Fan: "Eh, eh! Stuffed yer arse in the Cup Final!!"
West Ham Fan: "You sir, are a Scouse Wanker."

167👍 29👎

Hugh Jarse

A very nice person. Also, a traditional joke.

"Say, that's Hugh Jarse."

31👍 7👎