happy sack

The little skin sporran that a male keeps his knackers safely locked up in.

"Oh Christ ... I've just been kicked in the happy sack ... I'll never have kids!"

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psycho chick

The Jekyll and Hyde female in her twenties.

Having left childhood behind, these chicks now battle through their twenties. Here they are buffeted between the pressures of work, drinking, boy-friend merry-go-rounds, monthly hormone attacks and the belief that their clocks are ticking.

Believe me, one day these chicks are heaven sent babes, then on the turn of a penny, the next day they are knife wielding harridans who relentlessly chant the mantra "All men are bastards ... why can't I find a boyfriend ... I'll never have babies ... I don't need a man etc."

Avoid them while in this evolving stage. Good news is they normally get their shit together sooner or later and the story does very often end happily.

Remember that every milf once was a psycho chick.

"Wow did you see that Chrissie? What a fucking psycho chick! Blob strop or what?"

66👍 27👎

safari park chimp

The ultimate measure of wanking. So named after the kind of frantically masturbating chimps you see in zoos and safari parks.

Dude 1: "Man, I am so chick-less that I end up wanking like a safari park chimp to keep me sane!"
Dude 2: "Way to go you dirty bastard!"

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unwonked

To straighten out something that was wonky. Typically a crumpled, flacid cock.

"I'd been on the slack for days, then Paige appeared with her massive bangers and my dick unwonked itself in 2 seconds flat."

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milfturbate

Verb. To stimulate the genitals whilst thinking of imagery of mature women. Strictly forbidden under Catholic doctrine.

Sinner: "Bless me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "Confess your sins my son and let the Lord see into your soul."
Sinner: "My mom had some of her friends round for a Women's Institute meeting and I was serving them tea and cakes. Later that night I indulged myself with a furious session of milfturbation in the bathroom thinking of them in their flouncy blouses."
Priest: "Wicked boy! Say three hundred Hail Marys and scrub your hands with bleach and steel wool!"

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honey mown

Cunnilingus. Specifically, lesbian pussy licking. Where a woman has the sweetest of sweet juice and other women make a bee-line for the honey pot.

Dude 1: "I hear that chick likes other chicks, man!"
Dude 2: "Aye, Dawg. She likes to get her honey mown by other hotties."

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spidering

Yet another term for anal sex. This one is when that damn old asshole is a big hairy bastard - like a spider. As found on dirty women who don't know Jack shit about shaving.

Dude 1: "That new chick from Accounts? She's one hairy bitch!"
Dude 2: "Yeah! Time to go spidering, Dawg!"

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