ham and bangers

Attributes of a great MILF. Great big ham legs and massive mashable bangers. Something for the guy that likes legs and something for the guy that likes tits.

Dude 1: "Wow, you seen that new MILF in Accounts? Great ham and bangers!"
Dude 2: "Hell yeah! Full pork breakfast!"

7👍 7👎

Spiderwoman

Female with a single extraordinary power. Having never visited her minge with a razor, she has a magnificent array of spiders legs protruding from her knickers thus being able to render any man into a state of shocked horror at a hundred yards.

Beach Dude 1 (dazed): "Whoaaa ... did you see that chick's bikini-line?"
Beach Dude 2: "Yeah ... like it must've been Spiderwoman."

9👍 10👎

slut custard

Yet another term for semen. This is the type chucked over a porn starlette's face in an average porno-movie.

Director: "OK folks, ready for the pop shot - let's see some slut custard fly!"
Porn Star: "Eeeeeuuuuuurggghhhh !!!! <SPLOODGE>"

42👍 19👎

skin sporran

Another affectionate term for the scrotum, this time from North of the border in Scotland.

"Och ma boggle. Ahm kippin ma wee bowlocks seef in mah skin sporran ready for Morag to play wi'." (Traditional Scottish Saying)

2👍 2👎

fishmonger's gorge

A pussy. A real ripe one. Best avoided.

Dude 1: "Man, that chick I met last night. She was evil!"
Dude 2: "Yo, why so Dawg?"
Dude 1: "I went down on her and it was like a fishmonger's gorge!"

10👍 5👎

Neptune's trident

One of the Holy Grail sexual acts. This involves one man and three women. The lucky man will have one woman on his penis and one hand in each of the other two women. This makes him look like Neptune's tri-pronged trident.

And like everything nautical, the whole thing smells of fish and is very slippery.

Nick: "I scored big the other day, I hit on three chicks and they did Neptune's trident with me."
Dude: "Way to go my man! You IS a sex god!"

70👍 34👎

siliconesse

Female with a chest pumped up with breast implants. Implants are usually a solid silicone bag filled with a saline solution. Think of that if you happen to be whacking off over a sticky-vid featuring implanted chicks.

Whoa! Did you see Martine's new tits? She's the siliconesse of the plastic-boob pride.

4👍 2👎