fox skin beermat

(British) A closely shaved and somewhat tangy tasting snatch.

Not perfectly smooth, but rough to the touch like fox skin and tasting like a stale beermat.

Dude 1: "Did you go down on your new girlfriend last night Dawg?"
Dude 2: "Yeah. Not bad, but seemed like I was tonguing a fox skin beermat."
Dude 1: "Way to go!"

4👍 1👎

tit upgrade

Cosmetic surgery on the breasts to increase their size. Popular with porn starlets.

Seen Kazza? She's just had a tit upgrade.

25👍 12👎

messy facial

Porn movie pop shot make-up artistry. This is where a heavy cummer (and maybe his co-stars) deliver some thick money shots onto a porn-stars face. Looks like she’s been hit in the face with a custard pie.

Director: "Ok folks, let's wrap up this shoot ... guys stand by to give Crystal-Tipps a messy facial please .... ACTION!"

12👍 7👎

silk slipper

The very finest pussy you can get. Exquisite to the feel, and a joy to slip into.

"Man that new chick in Accounts, she may look like a thunder pig, but damn! That broad has a fine silk slipper!"

7👍 3👎

Spiderwoman

Female with a single extraordinary power. Having never visited her minge with a razor, she has a magnificent array of spiders legs protruding from her knickers thus being able to render any man into a state of shocked horror at a hundred yards.

Beach Dude 1 (dazed): "Whoaaa ... did you see that chick's bikini-line?"
Beach Dude 2: "Yeah ... like it must've been Spiderwoman."

9👍 10👎

watch shit steam

Describes a very boring person. One who is so lame, they would happily watch the vapour from freshly dumped excrement rather than have a life. An accountant maybe.

Dude 1: "So how's you new job? Good boss?"
Dude 2: "Total bummer man! The boss would watch shit steam rather than do anything useful!"

4👍 5👎

wear the fox hat

Having a woman sitting on your face. A woman with a very large hairy bush. And if she is a red-head, it is a perfect fox hat.

Dude 1: "Tonight my friend, I shall wear the fox hat."
Dude 2: "Yo Dawg! Way to go, my man."

34👍 26👎