fuck custard

Thick semen. As found in good porno movies after the pop shot.

Dude 1: "I just watched 'Bukkake Cum Sluts Vol. 6' - man, I ain't seen so much fuck custard ever!"
Dude 2: "Dude, lend me that - NOW!"

13👍 9👎

easy ride

A slag. An easy woman who takes little persuasion to get into bed. Not good looking often.

Dude 1: "Hey! Still single, Dawg?"
Dude 2: "Yeah, I'm makin' do with easy ride 'til something good comes along!"

11👍 8👎

fanny clap

Where a vagina's lips shut so rapidly that they make a clapping noise. Suggestive that they are big flappy flaps and that a large penis has been withdrawn at some huge speed.

A kind of vaginal sonic boom. You need damn big flaps to make a full fanny clap.

<CLAP!>
Dude: "What da fuck was that, woman!?"
Chick: "Damn muthafucka! You took you damn dick out too fast for me, that was my fanny clap Nigga!"

48👍 15👎

womb on wheels

A pram. Once the baby has dropped, mum now pushes it in a womb on wheels in front of her.

"See that chick? Nice ass, nice rack. I'd tap her up if it weren't for her damn womb on wheels."

5👍 4👎

slut custard

Yet another term for semen. This is the type chucked over a porn starlette's face in an average porno-movie.

Director: "OK folks, ready for the pop shot - let's see some slut custard fly!"
Porn Star: "Eeeeeuuuuuurggghhhh !!!! <SPLOODGE>"

42👍 19👎

skin sporran

Another affectionate term for the scrotum, this time from North of the border in Scotland.

"Och ma boggle. Ahm kippin ma wee bowlocks seef in mah skin sporran ready for Morag to play wi'." (Traditional Scottish Saying)

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Furious Five

Verb. To masturbate. After a hard day at work, a man needs an Adventure With The Furious Five to relieve himself of surplus testosterone and spoodge.

"I was stuck on that train for an hour pressed up against sweaty MILF and dirty slags. When I got home I had to give it the Furious Five to get the stress off."

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