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wiimote

Something you find embedded inside a $8000 plasma TV, after the viewer has purchased a Nintendo Wii.

The wiimote is the next generation of video game violence.

by Wm. Wallace the Freedom Fighter October 28, 2007


14 piece dismemberment

When you take a 3 inch or shorter dagger and saw off the feet of a victim at the ankles, then saw off the lower legs, then the upper legs, then the hands at the wrists, then the lower arms, then the upper arms, then, just before he dies from a lack of blood, you slit his throat and cut off his head. So called because when you get done, there's 14 pieces of the body.

Osiris was a victim of a 14 piece dismemberment.

When King Arthur did a 14 piece dismemberment to Igraine, you could hear the sound of her spurting blood colliding with his shiny silver plate armor, as well as her screams of pain as her flesh was sliced open.

by Wm. Wallace The Freedom Fighter January 03, 2008


hollywood marriage

The amount of time it takes for light in a vacuum to go across a distance equal to the diameter of a quark. About as long as the planck time. If you're really lucky, a hollywood marriage will last a whole month, but as they say on the weight loss commercials, 'results not typical'.

With this hollwood marriage I hope I can at least start to let go of my bride's ring before I get divorced. Bonus points if I can make it out of the church.

I made you waste about 6.28x10^18 hollywood marriages reading this definition.

by Wm. Wallace the Freedom Fighter October 28, 2007


Mordred

A half-naked boy with oily skin (but no pimples) who speared King Arthur back in the Faerytale Era. Son of Morgan Lefay and King Arthur. Wears the coolest armor. Blood came out his mouth once Excalibur went into his lungs by way of his chest.

The shiny, glossy Mordred danced naked in the forest, hoping to attract Guinevere. Then Lancelot caught him and made him put clothes on.

Mordred took Percival to the tree.

by Wm. Wallace The Freedom Fighter October 11, 2007


AOL tactic

Any form of aggressive advertising that does any of the following actions, almost all of which are legal in the USA but not necessarily morally correct:

1. Use of banner ads with Microsoft Windows windows in them to make one think their computer has a problem.

2. Withholds useful information from you until you click Yes on "Do you want to install and run" so they can spread their malware.

3. Rapid and annoying moving iPods or other shiny things/status sympols that might make a Neanderthal have a four hour erection.

3a. So-called free iPods/Xbox 360s that require you to sell your name and address to loads of advertising cartels and require you to buy many other things you don't want AND require your friends to do the same.

4. Pop up/Pop under ads. Need I say more?

5. Microsoft Windows XP Messenger Service black-on-grey text ads that say your computer will die unless you install a virus on it that kills your PC anyway.

6. AOL Discs--self explanatory.

7. Any advertisement for a cult that would make the Jehovah's Witnesses blush.

8. while (1){ ~linux/home$festival -tts "Head On Apply Directly to the forehead!" }

9. Obvious corporate theft from consumers/double-dipping such as advertisements on DVDs, in movie theaters and on Cable/Dish TV.

10. Ads that make you feel sad in misleading ways, such as one for Ron the indigent atheist terrorist needs you to paypal him $20 so he can bomb a church.

11. Windows Vista which appeals to people who give up their freedom to run emulators and file sharing so they can have shiny pretty cute windows that stack like glass.

AOL tactics keep Geek Squad and Firedog in business.
Spank the Monkey and win -$20 is another AOL tactic.

by Wm. Wallace the Freedom Fighter October 28, 2007


1-bit marriage

Like a 1 bit number, it's either on or off. You either have a spouse or you don't. Unfortunately it's the standard in the United States of America and you can't have more.

America is a country where you can only have a 1-bit marriage, but they don't care if the spouse is the same gender as you.

by Wm. Wallace The Freedom Fighter December 24, 2007


fungicide

A drug that kills fungus. Used for itches on human feet and itches on cats. Or could imply that the owner of such a prescription has hygiene problems.

I found a tube of fungicide in my new girlfriend's medicine cabinet! Now I don't know what she's crawling with!

by Wm. Wallace The Freedom Fighter January 03, 2008