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A movie that reinforces the point that Mel Gibson is a nut who craves human blood. Features include a baby getting dashed against the ground till its neck breaks, a man's father getting his throat cut by the ruthless savages quite audibly (you can hear the cartilage) in front of him while visible spurts of blood run down his shirtless chest, a native person coated in mud, and the sacrifices, three sacrifices I could count watching it in fast-forward mode. The victims are rubbed down with a blue paint, then slaughtered. That's three realistic looking human hearts exposed to daylight and drenched in gorgeous crimson blood. It's too bad the native doesn't take a huge bite out of the cardiac muscle--but you can't win 'em all. At least twice the head is chopped off (kinda hard to see) and it's quite visible that the Homo Sapien head is thrown down the pyramid staircase and caught in a basket. The headless corpse is then thrown down the stairs later.
That throat cutting scene in apocalypto is the most realistic gashing of the human neck you will see outside of Al-Quaeda.
The ratings philistines probably denied Mel Gibson an extra scene in apocalypto where someone eats the flesh off a living human using a knife so that the last thing the victim saw as he died was his own kind eating his raw muscle tissue.
Apocalypto's sacrifice mode suffers from the Hide Your Children trope. The aztecs, Incans, and Mayans all sacrificed young children occasionally before the tribes were conquered.
89π 48π
Colonial America version of the Linux command 'fsck', the File System Consistency Check. Back in those days the esses looked like effs.
When you don't run ffck on your Fedora partition with the Bible on it, you might get something like Thou Fhalt Commit Adultery.
1π 4π
The real one: Wears A Kilt. Rolls in the mud with said kilt on. Has a two-handed Claymore sword. Chops off people's legs with said sword. Fought against the warriors of Edward The Longshanks.
The faerytale William Wallace: fights Longshanks to the death, Longshank's blood dripping down Wallace's face while he does a sword dance around his bloody claymore. He then slits open Longshank's wife's chest and removes her guts.
1. William Wallace was the bravest Scotsman to ever exist.
2. William Wallace was the goriest Scotsman to not exist.
36π 24π
A human bladder that holds five cubic centimeters of urine. Used to ridicule someone that's always going to the bathroom.
2:30 AM: Detrol: I gotta go pee!
2:30 AM: ManaMax: There's a bathroom on the right.
(detrol goes to the bathroom)
2:38 AM: Detrol: I really gotta go now!
2:38 AM: ManaMax: (singing) 5cc bladder! 5cc bladder! na na naaa naa naaaaa naaa!
Another way of saying "legend" or "The Legend of".
Densetsu is a good Bob Marley and the Wailers album.
Densetsu of Zelda is a good NES game.
In the Middle Ages, there was the densetsu of the man who could rip Twizzlers sideways. His name was Conan the Destroyer.
15π 10π
To take a story that originally had a small bit of violence or bloodshed in it, and exaggerate it into a resplendent blood bath. Said because virtually all of Mel Gibson's movies have had gallons of blood with gruesome violence.
Murron to Braveheart:Today I fell off my skateboard and cut my knee on the pavement and a few drops of blood came out.
Braveheart to Murron's parents:Well she fell off her skateboard and severed a major artery and painted the pavement red, so I cut her throat with my fingernail and grabbed her by her feet and twirled her around to ensure good blood coverage.
Murron to Parents:Braveheart! Don't Gibsonize the story!
1π 9π
The Christian afterlife, when lions can be petted by humans while sitting next to a lamb, without fear of getting mauled. Since humans are of the animal kingdom, they will behave good too.
In the age of well-behaving animals, no strain of bacteria would not make us sick, and elephants wouldn't trample children.
In the age of well-behaving animals, no one would bother going to war or steal from someone.