gastric exorcism

When you get the atomic runs so bad you literally spend half the night on the shitter

“Yo dude I had a gastric exorcism after eating Taco Bell!”

Don’t let the door hit you where the good Lord split you

Basically an older term for “Bye Felicia.” When you don’t give a fuck that someone is leaving, and you hope the door smacks them on the ass

Ex boyfriend: “Fuck you I'm out.”
Me: “Don’t let the door hit you where the good Lord split you.”

2👍 2👎

Covid Jail

When you have the coronavirus and have to self-isolate

“Hey man you wanna go out?”

“Nah, I’m in Covid jail, bro”