Roundin' the Turn

A previously optimistic term generally applied to a disease course change toward improvement, now bastardised and misconstrued into a political mis-information directive in an attempt to obfuscate the reality of massive disease surge.

You still wearin' a mask? Dude, we're Roundin' the Turn.
I think I'll keep it until we can see for sure if that turn isn't actually a big, fat politically self serving LIE.

parking lot tour

The unplanned, isle-by-isle search required to locate a misplaced vehicle; usually a consequence of concurrent texting, cell phone conversation or other multi-tasking distraction.

WTF! I've lost my shit fer real this time...took me a 20 minute parking lot tour to find the damn car!

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Unprovoked Denial

The unconscious tendency for a guilty or otherwise culpable individual to offer unsolicited excuses, explanations or clarifications out of interrogative context.

If someone explicitly states, "I'm perfectly normal" when there has been no preceding accusation to the contrary--that's an example of Unprovoked Denial...kinda like "No Collusion" or "No Obstruction".

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Re-eat

The intentional consumption of emesis; usually not one's own.

The cat puked on the carpet last night. I didn't clean it up, because I knew the dog would re-eat it by morning.

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Liturgitard

Anyone who actually believes that, and lives as if, scriptural dogma is of divine origin.

Only a true liturgitard could find meaning in the words of bronze-age, ignorant barbarians.

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Zoom Warrior

As a direct consequence of the COVID pandemic, the iconic trade-show driven Road Warrior salesman has been transformed into a mere digital shadow of its former presence.

You goin' to the Consumer Electronics Show, HIMSS Conference or BrewEXPO this year?
Kinda. Everything is on-line, I guess this year I'm Zoom Warrior.

community uterus

A ‘next-gen’ missionary directive, calling nubile females toward 3rd world countries for biblical reproductive purposes.

Oh, yeah! She’s got the trust fund goin’ so she never has to ‘work’ another day in her life; dedicated her community uterus to the lord!—absolutely NO BETTER PLACE to be!