digital dead walker

The most horrific example of social media consumption; creating a seemingly mindless, autonomously functioning individual with all attention focused exclusively on the hand-held device interface, at the exclusion of all other surrounding conditions.

Holy shit, did you see that!? Another digital dead walker just bit the dust! This one fell down through an open man hole cover while attempting to cross the street...stupid fuckers.

31👍 4👎

ghost-maker

The designation for any member of X, the most elite, black-bag, covert assassination and personnel disposal team (n)ever assembled.

Please, let's go. I know that guy...he's a ghost-maker. Don't look at him...

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Trump-Speak

An unintelligible, Presidential dialect in which otherwise meaningful words are confidently transformed into utter gibberish.

What does 'foisfered' mean?
What do 'leightweight, Rupublicans, infair, prople, wonerful, councel, covfefe' mean?
Oh, that's just Trump-Speak--doesn't mean anything...

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knowledge bully

Verb. The process by which an overly-aggressive individual intentionally creates a unilateral condition of conversational dominance while at the same time discounting the extensive experience and wisdom of others also involved in the discourse.

So, I'm makin' a play to administration; I'm tryin' to get all of us a raise based on last years profit and loss statement, improved tax position and overall department production metrics. Then, Mr. Power Boner shows up and tries to knowledge bully me using some bull-shit theory of economic growth projection...we won't be gettin' that raise. What a dick head...

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thoughts and fucking prayers

Close to worthless well-wishing platitudes when real action and assistance could make a positive outcome difference.

So, Connor has cancer and his family is having a tough time making ends meet because he can't work.
Really? I'll be sure to light a candle for them at mass this Sunday.
Why don't you save your thoughts and fucking prayers for imaginary problems; they could actually use some help.

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not worth the misery

A position of intentional reserve and calm stability; having learned through personal experience the abject futility, emotional exhaustion and disappointment sustained in attempting to influence another individuals thoughts, words or deeds.

So, I've just given up trying to get people to stop smoking, texting/drinking-and-driving, bullying others and farting in public...its just not worth the misery.

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Insta-Cum Retraining

A highly-structured desensitization program designed to reestablish normal sexual stamina after many years of forced, infrequent, dispassionate and time-constrained copulation efforts.

My wife just signed me up for Insta-cum retraining...seems she requires a bit more time and expertise then when we fucked on prom nite...

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