Coronageddon

The near-certain, end-of-times condition created either by the actual COVID-19 virus or the massive social, financial and political devastation generated on the back of global hysteria.

Get'cher fresh limes and beachwear ready!

Coronageddon is upon us!
Wait! What? It's a virus?

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Big Thickie

A term of semi-endearment referring to any individual with above-average body mass that severely compromises their otherwise normal physical coordination.

Oh snap! Big Thickie just tripped over his own feet and did a face-plant attempting to get off the bus...anyone get that on video?

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push that shit down

An strategy used to manipulate unfavorable Internet ratings, opinions or other social-media emergencies by displacing them from awareness with massive amounts of alternatively engineered content.

Kripes! We just got super-flamed on Twitter and it's contagious. This could cost us millions if it spreads to the news-feed--mobilize the forces, we gotta push that shit down!

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Catholic kid-fuck

The latest Vatican Olympic sporting event...

Ladies and gentlemen, quiet please on the field for the next event the Catholic kid-fuck.
On your mark, pants down...Sin!

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Flat-Earth Filter

The double-secret, government-mandated modification applied to all video/photographic equipment installed on vehicles capable of reaching an altitude above 40,000 feet, the upper limit of commercial aircraft; this, in an attempt to sustain the global 'spheroid earth conspiracy'.

Ok. If anyone actually contends that the earth is flat based on their fucked up religious doctrines, the opinions of some crack-pot pseudo-science bullshit or weak-ass arguments of incompetent YouTube fanatics...they're just wrong. Do some spherical geometry; construct a 'triangle' on a spherical surface and measure the sum of the angles. Greater than 180? Wonder what that means...stick the flat-earth filter up yer ass.

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milk chunks

The surprise mouth-full of sour, rotten debris often experienced by inconsiderate, out-of-the-carton milk drinkers.

Haha!! Alec got the milk chunks last nite from drinkin' right out of the fridge; serves that shit-bag right...now he can clean up HIS OWN puke...

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Twitterquake

Sadly, one of the most powerful tools of retribution at the disposal of certain political types, is social media denigration and effacement.

Oh, here it comes...someone in their right mind didn't ignore their own moral compass and bow before King Trump; the Twitterquake that follows will likely find them reassigned, removed or retired.