The gift of goodbye

A sarcastic parting commentary offered upon the exit of a particularly offensive or distasteful relationship.

So, I heard that you're no longer working at the bank.
Oh, so true. They've jacked up my paycheck for the last time. I gave them the gift of goodbye.

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Old Lives Matter

In a world where economic preservation is value-compared over safeguarding life, some leaders have proposed a 'business as usual' plan that accepts significant mortality in deference to maintaining a healthy economy. Must we sacrifice the pillars of our society to COVID-19?

Who really gives a shit if a bunch of old fucks bit it? Weren't they gonna die soon anyway? And, they fucked up the climate...
Maybe, but aren't they also the ones that actually created a world that's safe for you to actually say that?

Old Lives Matter...

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libidoo

Stalled, under-developed or severely weakened sexual drive in an otherwise healthy, seemingly well-adjusted individual.

>I don't know what's wrong with me; I just have no interest in that kinda thing any more.
<Girl, you gots da libidoo; don't be gettin' anywheres close ta me..that shit might be contagious!

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vice-poodle

A subordinate lap-dog to the completely clueless commander-in-chief of the executive branch.

oh yes, we're safe!
the vice-poodle will be managing the Corona virus pandemic...
close one, eh?

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nasalgasm

Near-sexual pleasure elicited by physical interaction with the nose or nasal passages.

OHHH, THAT WAS AWSOME!!!
What happened? Are you ok?
I just had my first nasalgasm!
Well, you do appear refreshed.
I'm still tingling! Thank you CompleteRinse!

MAGA

My Administration Got Arrested

The best definition of MAGA...ever!

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swallow-out!

Two innocent, but very descriptive words that, when suddenly uttered by a child, strike fear in the heart of any adult within earshot--Get ready for projectile vomiting.

So the wild-eyed kid looks up at me. He appears a bit distressed, then says, 'swallow-out!'
Before I could translate that shit, I got me a lap full of stank kid-vomit.
I'm gonna use THAT ONE next time I get pulled over by the cops...

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