Trump-asthenia

The progressive weariness and public despair caused by a never ending series of poor, ill-informed decisions, infantile self-serving policies and generalized, narcissistic, ineffective hyperbole.

ANOTHER government shut-down! There is no way that Congress and the citizens of the USA will permit this to happen...all sides have reached Trump-asthenia to the max...

28👍 4👎

USB odds

The probability of any given event resulting in a positive outcome constrained by the odds of initial USB plug insertion; which should be fifty percent, but in reality is closer to zero.

So, do you think we'll win the lottery this draw?
I'll give it USB odds.
Yeah, I NEVER get that fucker in on the first try.

trumploan

Whatever remains of the 2 trillion dollars in economic relief available for small businesses that isn't funneled off into corporate bank accounts, corrupt political slush-funds or a void of opportunistic government crisis-accounting.

You get'cher trumploan yet?
Naww, not yet.

You holdin' yer breath?
Nope...

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Fuckstructor

An individual seemingly entrusted with the duty to teach a highly complex, demanding or otherwise formidable pursuit; but in reality conveys horrific misinformation, convoluted material presentation and unyielding authoritarianism.

So, how are the flying lessons going?
Better now, after I got a "real instructor".
What happened?
Well, for the first five days a Fuckstructor taught me the WRONG WAY to measure fuel, read a sectional chart, prep the aircraft and HOW TO FUCKING LAND.
Damn. What did you do?
Oh, HE GONE!

I want to wear your pants

A lame pick-up line; lost-in-translation.

Playa--"I deed exactly what you tol' me to do, coach. I toook her to deener. I got her teepsy. Theen I tol' her 'I want to wear your pants'...she just loooked at mee like I'm crazy!!!

Coach--I told you to say: I want to GET IN your pants; not WEAR your pants...dumbass!!!

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Santa spooge

AKA- Eggnog: that wonderful alcohol infused, yet seemingly innocous beverage seasonally responsible for transgressions ranging from mild next-morning memory loss to full-on office party infidelity.

Ho-Lee Shit! What happened last night at the Xmas party?
Well, you and a bunch of degenerates pushed down about a gallon of Eggnog each. You kept callin' it Santa spooge, Akmed said he was drinkin' Mumammed milk and Sally over there claimed it was Jesus juice. Either way it ended in a 3-some.

vape wretch

The nagging, dry, progressively annoying hack that mysteriously works it's way into the otherwise pristine, healthy respiratory systems of frequent vape users.

Damn dude, you can't even take your dumb shit to the movies without coughing out a lung...you got the vape wretch from hell; time to put that bitch down for awhile...

28👍 4👎