Torbert

Someone who fucks up everything they touch but refuses to take any of the blame for it.

Jack forgot to bring the tickets with him to the concert, and tried to blame it on his girlfriend for not putting them in his jacket. He is a real Torbert like that.

Quarter

A friend of the highest value and quality. Derived from the saying, “It’s better to have four quarters than a hundred pennies.”

“That’s Eddie over there. He’s a quarter.”