Noneckism

The polytheistic religious belief that one day when the sun heavily burnt the necks of our ancestors, disrupting the yin and yang between the sun and the sea, we forever took a vow of hatred towards the evils inflicted by the sun. Now, we cover our necks by pulling our shirts over our mouth, nose, and ears. Additionally, the inside of our shirts, at the top, are lined with blessed cloth, that way we only breathe in sacred air. Uncovering your neck, hence eating and bathing, are to be done in private. Those that practice are referred to as “noneckists”.

“Hey dude, why does Jimmy cover his face like that?”
“I heard he practices noneckism”

Sideways Snail

A sexual position where a man penetrates a woman while vertical, but she is on her side. While ejaculating somewhere on her body, he drags the tip of his penis across her body, leaving a snail trail.

Damn girl, you just got sideways snailed.

Spencer’s Salami

Spencer’s Floppy Salami is involved in the Alabama Hot Pocket. He sticks it in, getting it brown and sticky. He then cuts it up like salami.

Spencer Johnson has a tasty Spencer’s Salami

City President

You’ve heard of mayors, but the city president is a locally appointed official of a city, town, or village. Holding no official rank, individuals can hold an election to independently determine a friend as City President if they so choose. This is especially effective is said city is so small it doesn't belong on any meaningful map, hence making said person the most significant or, in some cases, only resident.

Stella is the City President of Chatham, Illinois.

Burger Without the Fries

Used in a simile to represent something is lackluster or less than ideal, typically due to the absence of someone or something.

"Hanging out without Sam Dwyer is like a burger without the fries. It's alright, but it feels like something is missing."

Maple Leaf Rag Doll

Listening to Scott Joplin's Maple Leaf Rag, two consenting people engage sexually. One throws the other across the room like a rag doll before penetration.

"Do you think Sam is hot?"
"Yeah, I'd let him do anything to me. Even give me the Maple Leaf Rag Doll"

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The Jenga Sex Position

A sex position in which people stack on top of each other in alternating rows during an orgy, in a Jenga like fashion. The last person to pull out without falling over wins.

Last night, we tried The Jenga Sex Position. Mark barely beat Carlos.

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