Stork Return System

When the stork delivers you a gremlin that is not satisfactory to your standards, you take that little asshole and ship it back to the factory to be deconstructed and remodeled into a more adequate munchkin

I just ordered the Stork Return System to come pick up little jimmy. Can you believe he bit my mother’s toe the other day. That kind of behavior cannot go unpunished.

Wind Shingles

Those little particles in the air that you’re not quite sure what they are but they are definitely tiny pieces of some sort of grotesque object.

Some Wind Shingles floated into my nose and I let out a massive sneeze. I hope that wasn’t a particle from some kind of weird insect

Karate Slap

An action carried out upon a delinquent when they have stepped over the line and annoyed you for the last time.

My stupid little sister won’t stop being rude to me. I have no choice but to karate slap her into next Wednesday.