antidisestablishmentarianism

1. (n.) Opposition of the separation of church and state.
2. (n.) A word you can't spell correctly. I can.
3. (n.) A word you only know exists because of that Wikipedia definition you read five seconds ago.

1. Antidisestablishmentarianism was first developed in 19th century Britain. Blah blah blah blah shit no one cares about.
2. Stand in front of the mirror with your pants down and spell antidisestablishmentarianism at the top of your lungs. I dare you.
3. Real antidisestablishmentarians don't use Wikipedia. Grow some balls.

1👍 1👎

Cop

Latin for "donut fetishist."

Mentions of donut restaurants are telltale signs that the dude you're talking to is actually an undercover cop who's ready to molest you.

16👍 5👎

Sesame Street

While dressed up as Elmo, you slice someone's dick off while the both of you are masturbating and carry the severed dick to a preschool. Make sure you have a woman with you. In the preschool, you enter a classroom, interview the youngest child, and ask them vaguely sexual questions while keeping the severed dick a secret. When the child least expects it, you strip the woman naked, shove the severed dick in the woman's mouth in front of the child (and everyone else, for that matter), and use the blood from the severed penis to draw a dick on her boobs. You must then throw the severed dick in the teacher's mouth, assume control of her laptop, and play snuff films on the smartboard.

This definition of Sesame Street was sponsored by the letter D!

48👍 15👎

Sesame Street

While dressed up as Elmo, you shit and piss in a girl's mouth and vagina and engage in mutual masturbation with her boyfriend before slicing his dick off. Then, you take some of the boy's blood and pour it in the girl's vagina. You must then make your way to the nearest preschool, carrying the severed dick and the naked girl with you. While you're at it, you must ask the youngest child vaguely sexual questions and, when everyone least expects it, you hijack the teacher's computer to play snuff films, strip the girl naked, rub the severed penis in everyone's faces, and violently rape everyone in sight. Make sure you have the whole thing on tape.

After doing the Sesame Street with a girl and some kids, I got out of the preschool and made a run for it, knowing damn well the cops would be onto me.

56👍 18👎

pleasing the plumbers

Pleasing the plumbers occurs when one's sexual attraction to someone else drives them to fuck their crushes by any means necessary. Pleasing the plumbers can include but is not limited to stalking/cyberstalking, sexting, making comments on body parts, voyeurism, and asking for sexual favors. Pleasers of plumbers will ignore their crushes' discomfort and relentlessly seek the opportunity to fuck them. Thus, consent is not an issue.

Hitler's been sexually harassing that little girl, even after she told him to stop! He must be pleasing the plumbers!

39👍 6👎

Rubik's Cube

To pour six cans of paint on your head (each of them representing colors on an actual Rubik's Cube), which you penetrate your girlfriend's ass and vagina with (either order is fine) while ramming it as far up as possible and violently nodding during both processes for maximum pleasure. Consent is not required.

That kid's vagina smelled great during that Rubik's Cube. Her ass was not so beautiful.

35👍 14👎

new years

To perform this sex act, you need to gather the vomit, shit, saliva, and cum/vaginal fluids of ten kindergarteners whose birthdays fall on January/September 1st, as well as your own. Pour them in a blender and let the mixture blend for thirty minutes. After it's finished, make a human centipede out of the kindergarteners with a staplegun, feed the mixture and some laxatives to the first kid, and quickly staple his anus to the last kid's mouth to finish the cycle of gurgling and shitting. It should be noted that the kids will try to break free, so it won't hurt to glue their limbs to the floor. After an hour, break the link between the first and last kid, give the first kid Diet Coke and Mentos up the ass, and quickly staple his ass to the last kid's mouth. Finish the act by beating off on each kid's face.

New Years is every politician's favorite sex act.

34👍 14👎