Sesame Street

While dressed up as Elmo, you slice someone's dick off while the both of you are masturbating and carry the severed dick to a preschool. Make sure you have a woman with you. In the preschool, you enter a classroom, interview the youngest child, and ask them vaguely sexual questions while keeping the severed dick a secret. When the child least expects it, you strip the woman naked, shove the severed dick in the woman's mouth in front of the child (and everyone else, for that matter), and use the blood from the severed penis to draw a dick on her boobs. You must then throw the severed dick in the teacher's mouth, assume control of her laptop, and play snuff films on the smartboard.

This definition of Sesame Street was sponsored by the letter D!

50👍 18👎

Sesame Street

While dressed up as Elmo, you shit and piss in a girl's mouth and vagina and engage in mutual masturbation with her boyfriend before slicing his dick off. Then, you take some of the boy's blood and pour it in the girl's vagina. You must then make your way to the nearest preschool, carrying the severed dick and the naked girl with you. While you're at it, you must ask the youngest child vaguely sexual questions and, when everyone least expects it, you hijack the teacher's computer to play snuff films, strip the girl naked, rub the severed penis in everyone's faces, and violently rape everyone in sight. Make sure you have the whole thing on tape.

After doing the Sesame Street with a girl and some kids, I got out of the preschool and made a run for it, knowing damn well the cops would be onto me.

57👍 20👎

pleasing the plumbers

Pleasing the plumbers occurs when one's sexual attraction to someone else drives them to fuck their crushes by any means necessary. Pleasing the plumbers can include but is not limited to stalking/cyberstalking, sexting, making comments on body parts, voyeurism, and asking for sexual favors. Pleasers of plumbers will ignore their crushes' discomfort and relentlessly seek the opportunity to fuck them. Thus, consent is not an issue.

Hitler's been sexually harassing that little girl, even after she told him to stop! He must be pleasing the plumbers!

39👍 6👎

Cop

Latin for "donut fetishist."

Mentions of donut restaurants are telltale signs that the dude you're talking to is actually an undercover cop who's ready to molest you.

16👍 5👎

Rubik's Cube

To pour six cans of paint on your head (each of them representing colors on an actual Rubik's Cube), which you penetrate your girlfriend's ass and vagina with (either order is fine) while ramming it as far up as possible and violently nodding during both processes for maximum pleasure. Consent is not required.

That kid's vagina smelled great during that Rubik's Cube. Her ass was not so beautiful.

35👍 19👎

Phallophronemohypnoglossovehomageiricoanatidaeobesoaphenphosmoneirophobophobia

The fear of the fear of getting a boner while thinking about being touched and watched by a fat duck while simultaneously sleeping, driving, publicly speaking, cooking, and dreaming.

How the fuck can I provide an example for phallophronemohypnoglossovehomageiricoanatidaeobesoaphenphosmoneirophobophobia when absolutely no one in the world has it?

33👍 2👎

Declare War on the North Pole Day

A day for naughty kids to arm themselves with Nerf guns, marking their futile declaration of war against Santa and the North Pole. Always occurs on December 26th.

Declare War on the North Pole Day 2022
Naughty kid 1: I-I-I saw it in F-Fortnite! I-if we enter through the front door we will kill the elves and s-s-seize the means of production!
Rest of the naughty kids: H-HEIL... C-C-COMMUNISM!! PRAISE STALIN AND FORTNITE!!
Santa Claus: *exits workshop* The fuck is this shit?
Naughty kids: FORTNITE BATTLE PASS PLZZZZ!!! FOLLOW MY TIKTO-
*Santa guns them all down with an AR-15*