waterfall

To blend any two liquids (Mentos if desired) together and pour the mixture down your girlfriend's vagina and/or on her face. The mixture can be any two liquids, so fuck around with the Diet Coke.

Maybe the bleach and ammonia waterfall wasn't such a good idea...

42👍 23👎

Limerick

DEFINITION
There once was a dude from Yopmail
Whose struggle against boredom was a fail
So he hopped on UrbDic(k)
And wrote this limerick
Enjoy the rest, you diseased toenail

A Bunch of Limericks by Yopmail User

RICK
There once was a dick named Rick
Who fucked his nephew's daughters for kicks
His son ate ten dimes
Then fucked tigers twelve times
And proudly sucked a monkey's dick

CHRIS HANSEN
There once was a Brit with a snare
Who raped a few kids for a dare
He then wet his bed
When Chris Hansen said
"Why don't you have a seat over there?"

OBSCENE
There once was a poem so obscene
It made all its readers drink bromine
They thought it was time
To shit on a mime
And fuck his dead body for hygiene

THE SHITTY DECK POEM
There once was a kid on a deck
Who fell over and broke his neck
Someone raped the dude
And was promptly sued
He now qualifies for a penis check

MASTURBATION
A kid once beat off to his dog
Who unwillingly sucked his big log
The dog saw a tick
And bit off the kid's dick
Then took a big shit on a frog

4👍 5👎

Eat

To simultaneously shit and piss in a girl's mouth. Using her mouth as a bowl, you must use a spoon to fish out parts of the mixture (which now contains saliva, and possibly vomit), which you then eat. Once her mouth is (mostly) free of shit and piss, you must spit the mixture in her vagina and perform cunnilingus on her. Bonus points if she is having her period. Swallow when you are finished.

Guy 1: wanna "go out" to eat?
Girl 1: YEAH!!!!!
Guy 1: good, come over to my place tomorrow
*The next day*
Guy 1 (while shitting and pissing): HNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG
Girl 1: S-STO- *garglegarglegarglegargle*

103👍 39👎

Garbage

Take a good look in the mirror if you want the definition.

The fact that you've never been visited by even one garbage truck surprises me.

30👍 6👎

Printing Press

This sex act requires that you abduct three little girls and strip them naked in your basement. You must then break their knees with a sledgehammer, toss the girls aside, create a mixture of laxatives and your bodily fluids (especially cum and vomit), and let it blend for ten minutes. During these ten minutes, you are to stand a few meters from your desired girl, charge towards her, ram your cock (you can use a spiked dildo, albeit not necessary) up her ass (cunts and mouths are acceptable), and repeat for each girl until the blending finishes. Feed one of the girls your concoction and, with a staple gun, connect the girls' mouths to each other's asses so that they form an endless human centipede. After some time, collect some of their shit and use it to spell out a phrase of your choice. Smear the shit on their faces afterwards and beat off on their backs and faces.

Vomit on a printing press for bonus points.

3👍 4👎

The Emoji Movie

If you, by some miracle, are actually thinking of watching this school shooting of a "movie," please dial the Suicide Hotline: 1-800-555-9999. Watching it is, to say the least, an incredibly painful way to fucking die. And to those of you who have watched it, I wish you'd known how much you'd be missed before then.

The Emoji Movie makes the Holocaust look fucking hilarious.

8👍 1👎

Neighbor

To force-feed a kid some grass, make him chew the dog shit off your lawn while you penetrate them anally, strip him naked in your home, and try to suck his dick with a vacuum cleaner. If his dick is ripped off within five seconds, rape him again and fire a gun next to his ear until he goes deaf. Make him down every bottle of alcohol you have and penetrate him in his eye sockets as hard as possible. Finish the act off by shoving him in a toilet and throwing shit at him while yelling slurs and insults (not that he'll hear them). Make him eat the shit afterwards, ejaculate and vomit in his mouth and on his face, shove Diet Coke and Mentos up his ass, and have everything on camera.

Neighbor your neighbors' kids for some free porn.

16👍 19👎