shit rolls up hill

a funny/sarcastic thing to say when you see a crappy car.
( playing on the phrase 'shit rolls down hill' )

Tommy; 'Well, whattaya know!?!'
Ed; ( climbing out of his Suzuki Samurai ) 'Huh? What's that?'
Tommy; 'Shit rolls up hill!'
Ed; 'Eat a dog-log ya jerk!'
Tommy; 'BA-Hahahahahahahaha!'

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LOQO

( acronym ) 'Liquid Of Questionable Origin'
Pronounced as 'lo-quo' when spoken as a word.
Disgusting stuff that you'd rather not know the origin of.

'When are you going to scrape them crusty old LOQO's out of the bottom of that fridge?? You like being a huge slob??'

'If you drop anything on the floor in a X-Rated Theatre, just leave it there. Even if it's your cell phone. Loqo city man! You don't want to know!!'

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LOQO

( acronym ) 'Liquid Of Questionable Origin'
Pronounced as 'lo-quo' when spoken as a word.
Disgusting stuff that you'd rather not know the origin of.

'When are you going to scrape them crusty old LOQO's out of the bottom of that fridge?? You like being a huge slob??'

'If you drop anything on the floor in a X-Rated Theatre, just leave it there. Even if it's your cell phone. Loqo city man! You don't want to know!!'

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Asparagus

( pronounced ASSpah-RAGus ); A catch-all term for any vegetables that you'd rather not eat.

Mom, 'Here, I made a sandwich for you.'
Kid, '....Ick, it's got asparagus in it!!'
Mom, 'It's just lettuce and its good for you. Eat up.'

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Chillometer

How far you have to walk to calm down after being seriously pissed-off. A Chillometer can equal or exceed 1000 meters ( .625 miles )

I had to do a Chillometer after I found that my car had been booted! Then I did a second one, just to be sure.

hand condoms

noun- The cheap disposable plastic gloves that food service enployees have to wear

Before she packaged my buffalo wings, the deli counter person put on a pair of hand condoms.

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Veni Vidi Velcro

( statement, Quote ); I came, I saw, I stuck around.

Used when entering a room full of your more intelligent friends, and you have no other desire than to hang out with them.

'Veni Vidi Velcro!' Jerry said to the amusement of his buds, as he slipped into the room and threw himself onto the couch.

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