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Myspace

The world's most popular online roleplaying game (Take that, Everquest!) It began with a guy named Tom who, after getting his simple butt pwnzed at most every MMORPG he played, decided he would make one of his own. The system was simple: create an online roleplaying character, and try to get as many users on a "friendslist." The first person to acchieve the most friends will win an angelic halo. However, our buddy Tom was a crafty prick, and he devised that <i>he</i> would always be the winner: whenever anyone joined Myspace, his profile would automatically be added onto their friendslist! So Tom would always pwn everyone else.

Myspace differs from other online RPGs in that it is almost void of orcs, elves, Norsemen, Nazis, Commies, aliens, or any of the other characters which normally appear in role-playing games. (every once in a while, Inuyasha or Sailor Moon will make a Myspace profile, but that's a different story) Rather, Myspace is home to the homeboy, scene kid, rich bitch, starving artist, whore next door, and several other stereotypes of tween to twentysomething life. They customize their profiles to the max with glittery banners, pinup girl shots, and photos of themselves taken with a patented technique called the Myspace angle.

Recently, a number of n00bs have been joining Myspace oblivious of the fact that it is an RPG. They take it seriously, you see, and attempt to meet up in real life with fellow Myspace roleplayers. At the very least, they're disappointed to find out that "Stu," that hot 23 year-old who's a surfer, is actually a 40 year-old sex offender, or that "Paula," the alt-rocker, is also a 40 year-old sex offender.

Tom is certainly under a lot of pressure as of late, given all the Myspace horror stories. He's had to put up all these security measures, which makes it harder for him to monitor how many people still have him on their friendslist. In addition, he must deal with his arch nemesis: a "hot azn gurl" known as Tila Nguyen, or Tila Tequila. Within a few months, Tila may win the angelic halo back from Tom.

Mother: John, have you been playing Myspace again? You look as though you haven't slept in two weeks.
John: No, Mother, I'm just fine.
(John goes back to his room and resumes chatting it up online as "Da IllEsT WiGGeR" with a sexxi azn sweetie named "HeLL0 KinKy")

by Your Mom in a Gorilla Suit April 3, 2006

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